Be Gay Solve Crimes

[PREVIEW] Episode J - The Maltese Falcon (1931/1941)

On this week’s Bonus Episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we’re on the hunt for a legendary movie, one of the best of all time, so we’re told. But when we find it, will it be everything that we hoped it would be? That’s right, we’re doing The Maltese Falcon!
Join us as we get lost in a plot that pulls a 180° every single sentence, discuss the praxis of blowing kisses at cops, and we get a little sidetracked by Podcast Enhancing Drugs.
To hear the full version of this bonus episode, head over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to all our future fortnightly bonus episodes as well as every bonus episode we've made so far! 
Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show.
Join us next time for The Nice Guys!

Episode 10 - Foster from Super Troopers (2001)

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, Nova rolls a natural twenty on the most insanely unlikely movie pull yet. It’s the exhaustively-memed early-00s stoner comedy Super Troopers, and for some reason it’s more transgender than we could have possibly guessed.
Join us for Barefoot Cops, frozen bananas, sublimated homosexuality, and a guy eating a whole plate of cannabis. Hold on, wait, didn't we do that episode last week?
If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes, you should sign up to our Patreon! For as little as £5 a month you can get access to a new bonus episode from us every fortnight as well as all our previous bonus episodes.
Tune in next week for The Maltese Falcon!
The Be Gay Solve Crimes team is made up of November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy. If you like what we do, be sure to retweet us to help us spread the word!

[PREVIEW] Episode I - Doc and Bigfoot in Inherent Vice (Bonus Episode)

On this bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we turn on, tune in, and drop out for a groovy double-LP of an episode with two detectives for the price of one. That’s right, daddio, it’s Inherent Vice!
Come join us as we give ourselves 1960s hippie dysphoria, discuss the best technique for eating a frozen banana, and calculate exactly how hench you’d have to be to body a toilet cistern lid to the skull.
To hear the full version of this bonus episode, head over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to all our future fortnightly bonus episodes as well as every bonus episode we've made so far! 
Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show.
Tune in next time for Super Troopers! 

Episode 9 - Mercy (2026)

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we take a detour from the classics to have a proper gander at the copaganda screenwriters are making today. And it turns out, they don't make 'em like they used to. That's right, it’s the alarmingly recent and alarmingly cisgender Mercy (2026).
Join us to see just how long it takes us to give up mashing a square peg into a round hole, Mia gives us advice on how to mod The Sims, and Nova lets us know what the hell she meant by the phrase "White Timothy McVeigh".
If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes, you should sign up to our Patreon! For as little as £5 a month you can get access to a new bonus episode from us every fortnight as well as all our previous bonus episodes. We've got one on Disco Elysium, on Silence of the Lambs, on LA Noire, on that one Simpson's episode where Mr Burns gets shot, Nancy Drew, Nick Valentine from Fallout 4, and Blade Runner!
Join us next week for Inherent Vice!
The Be Gay Solve Crimes team is made up of November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy. If you like what we do, be sure to retweet us to help us spread the word!

[PREVIEW] Episode H - I from I, Robot (Bonus Episode)

On this bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we don our blood filled black leather converse all stars for a trip back to I, Robot (2004), based on some of Isaac Asimov's best sentences.
Join us as we welcome Mia Mulder home and finally discover her opinions on Columbo, hear us explain to you to the family-unfriendly rules of The Shia LeBeouf Game, and enjoy the patreon-exclusive privilege of all three of us telling you what a bad bad naughty bad robot you are.
To hear the full version of this bonus episode, head over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to all our future fortnightly bonus episodes as well as every bonus episode we've made so far! 
Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show.
Tune in next time for something a little less retro, the 2026 film Mercy. Same Gay Time, Same Gay Channel.

Episode 8 - Columbo from Columbo

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're joined by our dear friend Josh Boerman (host of Worst of All Possible Worlds and Ill Conceived!) for an episode all about that scruffiest of detectives, Columbo.
Specifically in... uhh... [spinning a big wheel] ...Season 2, Episode 5? Requiem For A Falling Star?
Join us as we dive into a feast of Old Hollywood Lesbianism, Lucy reveals exactly what would make her betray her union, Nova gives us self-defence advice, and we all collectively lose our mind about the most Theatre Kid cameo in the world.
Also, our beloved Professional Automotive Journalist Victoria Scott swings by to give us her Professional Automotive Journalistic Opinion on Columbo's beloved old banger!
If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes, you should sign up to our Patreon! For as little as £5 a month you can get access to a new bonus episode from us every fortnight as well as all our previous bonus episodes. We've got one on Disco Elysium, on Silence of the Lambs, on LA Noire, on that one Simpson's episode where Mr Burns gets shot, Nancy Drew, Nick Valentine from Fallout 4, and Blade Runner.
Next week, Mia will be back with us for I, Robot!
The Be Gay Solve Crimes team is made up of November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy. If you like what we do, be sure to retweet us to help us spread the word!

[PREVIEW] Episode G - BLADE RUNNER (Bonus Episode)

On this Patreon exclusive bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're gonna keep riding this Philip K Dick train all the way into android town. That's right, it's the surprisingly sleepy BLADE RUNNER (1982).
Join us as we discuss Harrison Ford's slutty little waist, Mia lays out a theory about Making The Pimp Hat work, Lucy discusses the literary legacy of Orc City and accidentally starts a fight with 50% of writers everywhere, and November somehow gets us talking about Fallout New Vegas again.
To hear the full version of this bonus episode, head over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to all our future fortnightly bonus episodes as well as every bonus episode we've made so far! 
Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show.
Oh, and just one more thing.... next week we're doing Columbo.

Episode 7 - Minority Report (2002)

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we’re cruising on over to the noughties to watch the ever-prescient Steven Spielberg film Minority Report (2002), based on the classic novella by Philip K Dick.
Join us for a vision of a future where we blow our entire Patreon budget on milk baths and pass the savings onto you, where a Colin Farrell can be too Catholic even for November Kelly, and how shaven a Tom Cruise can be narrowly avoids becoming a lawsuit. We've got babygirl Pool-Boys, Twinks From The Fed, Emotional-Support Enbies. It's a gender kaleidoscope, folks.
If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes, you should sign up to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to a new bonus episode from us every fortnight as well as all our previous bonus episodes. We've got one on Disco Elysium, on Silence of the Lambs, on LA Noire, on that one Simpson's episode where Mr Burns gets shot, Nancy Drew, and Nick Valentine from Fallout 4!
Join us there next time for BLADE RUNNER!
The Be Gay Solve Crimes team is made up of November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and their local librarian Lucy.
 

[PREVIEW] Episode F - Nick Valentine in Fallout 4 + Far Harbor (Bonus Episode)

On this Patreon exclusive bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're checking in on our dear friend, the synth detective himself, Nick Valentine from Fallout 4 and Far Harbor.
Join us as Lucy gets immediately sidetracked into talking about Fallout: New Vegas, Mia and Nova join forces to try and mod in a jerry-built judicial system to the post-apocalypse, and Nick Valentine gives us all some much needed heckling.
To hear the full version of this bonus episode, head over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to all our future fortnightly bonus episodes as well as every bonus episode we've made so far! 
Be Gay Solve Crimes are on Bluesky, where you can also find each of the team: November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and your local librarian Lucy, who writes all the music for the show.

Episode 6 - Inspector Gadget 2 (2003)

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're leapfrogging right into Inspector Gadget 2! The one with the Girl Inspector Gadget, who looks remarkably like a friend of ours.
Join us on the goopiest episode yet as we introduce you all to our new beloved cyborg co-host Robo-Nova, wade into a whole new world of viscous hot pink gunge to pick apart exactly in what ways a movie can be racist towards a car, and Mia interrogates Lucy about a mystery piercing...
If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes, drop what you're doing right now and head on over to our Patreon where for as little as £5 a month you can get access to a new bonus episode from us every fortnight as well as all our previous bonus episodes. We've got one on Disco Elysium, on Silence of the Lambs, on LA Noire, on that one Simpson's episode where Mr Burns gets shot and Nancy Drew!
Join us there next time as we take on Nick Valentine from Fallout 4!
The Be Gay Solve Crimes team is made up of November Kelly, Mia Mulder, and their local librarian Lucy.